It’s been a minute as my middle school students would say. That’s what twins do to you. You have zero time to yourself and when you do have time you rather shower or eat or just sit and do nothing. I haven’t written anything on here since May of 2020 and a lot has happened since then.
Here’s an update for those who are interested:
- S & V turned 2 last February and the level of difficulty has lessened. It’s a different type of difficulty now. When they were newborns, I was hardly hanging on. V was born with a cleft lip and palate and I felt like I was choking her every time I fed her. It was horrible. So many friends and family came over to help me in the first two years of their lives and I want to share their names so the world knows just how much it meant to me, so thank you to Veronica, Maria, Brenda, Rosa, Yolanda, Kate, Rachel, Erin, Jessica, Tía Pilar, and Tía Julia, and of course my parents, siblings, and in-laws who continue to support us. Also, before I forget, I’m grateful to my mommy community on both IG and Facebook. Their encouraging comments sometimes are the only thing that pushes me to stay positive, especially on my bad days. It really does take a village and more. I have no idea how I would have survived without you all, so thank you for coming to my rescue. They are a little over 2 and a half now. Violet imitates everything she hears. She has the sweetest voice and she makes the funniest expressions. She’s still my cuddly one and I love when she sits next to me almost every night and holds my arm as we watch Bluey. Scarlett still isn’t talking much, but we are seeing people to help with that. She’s so close. I pray it’ll all starts connecting for her soon. I’m hoping I can throw them a birthday party for 2022. I’m thinking a Blues Clues theme, that’s probably their second favorite show after Bluey. Also, they are the best big sisters. They love on their baby brother every day and I’m so grateful that they adapted so well to the big change of adding a new little person to our family.
- Emma started TK and I cried for about 3 days. She’ll be 5 in about a month. She loves school. She’s been ready for the past year. She’s making new friends and learning so much. I wanted to throw a birthday party for her but it seems like we’ll have to wait until next year. I’m not comfortable with how things are going right now with cases rising, now with children. It’s so discouraging to see this happening again. I pray for my family’s health and that we are kept safe from it all. It sucks that we have to make certain sacrifices but it’s for our health and safety and we’ll still make it special for her. I still can’t believe I’ll have a 5-year-old. My first baby. That’s what I call her now. She hugs me so tight every morning and says “te Quiero, te amo, sleep tight” every night. She’s absolutely obsessed with her little brother. She tells him she loves him every day and calls him “my little boy”. It’s the sweetest moment to witness. There’s a reason why she was born first and it’s because she has a heart of a big sister. We’ve been stuck in our home a lot since the start of the pandemic but one thing that I am grateful for is witnessing how my girls have grown and how they are so different from one another but yet can work well together (when they want to).
- Luke. Our last baby was born in June of this year. I was in shock when I discovered I was pregnant. It was really a big shift to my mentality. Before finding out I was pregnant I have accepted the fact that we were having no more children. I was in grief actually because I so wanted a boy, but I had accepted it and was trying to move on and focus on my girls, then BAM, surprise! I’m pregnant. Then finding out that it was a boy felt like it was a message from God Himself. It was all meant to happen this way. This was God's plan and I will be forever grateful. He knows how much I wanted Luke. It’s been blissful since bringing him home. The girls are so in love with him. Also, he’s such an easy baby. He is nothing compared to his sisters. It made the adjustment from a family of five to a family of six a lot smoother. When I was a little girl, I would always say to anyone that I wanted four kids and I got what I always dreamed of. Emma, Scarlett, Violet, and Luke, you are my purpose in life and I know we have more hard days than good days, but I promise to raise you up with so much love, and our home and my arms will always be a safe haven for all of you. Daddy’s arms too, of course. I am loving watching you all grow. It brings me so much joy of the purest kind.
- This last week my family suffered a tragic loss. A cousin of mine took his own life. He’s really my cousin’s husband, but all the memories I have from when I was little included him in it so I’ve always seen him as my cousin and family. All I can say is to check on your mental health as often as you can. It’s equally important as your physical health and if you need help, seek it. Normalize that receiving therapy is okay. I started seeing someone in 2011, it hasn’t been continuous, but I do get therapy when I’m able to and it helps me so much. Therapy, exercise (when I’m able to), reading and journaling, and surrounding myself with people with positive and joyous energy is my everyday treatment. My mind feels clean because of it. Please check on your friends and family. Initiate those conversations even if it’s uncomfortable. Your mind matters. You matter and I’m here for you if you need someone to just listen. If you are a person of faith, please pray for Henry’s soul with me and for his family.
As always, be kind to one another and stay safe.
With love,
Ale
