2016: The year I became a Mom

This time last year Kevin and I decided that it was time to have a family of our own. 2016 will forever be one of the best years of my life and that is because I finally became a mother. Our Emma Sofia joined us on September 26th and I feel like time has been going lightning speed since her arrival. Here is a quick timeline of my year for you guys...

January 29th - We find out we're pregnant!

March - We find out the gender!

April through the end of August - I practically napped all day every day. It was amazing. 

September 26th - Emma is born!

She is now three months old and growing so fast right before our very eyes. She is definitely a morning person like her daddy. The first thing I see when I go to her room in the morning is her smiling face, but she gets camera shy and doesn't smile when I really want her to. She did amazing during all her first holidays (Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas). We even took her to Christmas Eve mass and she was so well behaved (partly because she fell asleep for most of the mass). She loves her family and is starting to recognize them more with each visit. She is a daddy's girl and I say this with confused emotions because I love how she loves her daddy, but what about me? I'm just the food supplier, that's all =/ haha. No, but she loves being with Kevin. She can watch him for hours. 

Becoming parents was a HUGE change on our lives and it was challenging at first for the both of us, but we are slowly adapting to the parent life and making it work. We aren't perfect parents or even perfect spouses, but we're a team and we learn something about each other everyday. I learned something about Kevin in the last few months. While Kevin and I were dating and during our first years of marriage, I would never see him interact with children which to be honest always worried me, but those worries vanished the moment I saw him carry Emma at the hospital. It's like he was saving himself for that moment all along. Kevin is such a loving father. Can he change more poopy diapers now and then?? I'm sure he can, but like I said, we're working on it (haha) and Emma adores him, you can see it in her eyes when she looks at him and to me, it is one of the best moments to witness.

I want to end this entry on a loving note, but I also want to honor my Bambi Boy who passed away in April. He took a piece of my heart with him and we miss him so very much. 

Here are a few of my favorite memories from 2016:

I pray that 2017 brings health, happiness, and lots and lots of love to all of our family and friends. Thank you, God (and partly Kevin) for sending us our biggest blessing yet and for making my dream of becoming a mother come true. I will be welcoming 2017 with the biggest smile and an extremely happy heart. 

Happy (early) New Year!

With love,

Ale

Emma's Birth Story

Our daughter is impatient just like her Mama. I say this because she came a week before her due date; she just couldn't stay in the womb any longer.This did not bother me at all since I was getting pretty impatient myself. I have to say that I am really happy with my first childbirth experience, everything went really well AND I got to hold my baby girl a whole week and a day early. Kevin and I learned our lesson on trying to plan our baby's birth date (we planned for October, I guess Emma had her own schedule going on). Nothing wrong with September, my dad loved the outcome because he gets to share his birthday week/month with his first grandchild. 

Okay so here is Emma's birth story. Warning to those who get grossed out when hearing the word "blood" or "poop". I will be mentioning those words on this blog, so if you can't handle it you should click that 'x' on the top right hand corner. OKAY...like I said earlier, I am quite happy with my experience, especially since for the past 9 months all sorts of women just HAD to share their birth story with me and 90% of them were horrible, just nightmares of a story. It did not help with my fear of childbirth one bit. I started having contractions the weekend before she was born on Saturday, September 24th around 8 p.m., they were about 10 minutes apart and 10-15 seconds long. I still find contractions to be pretty incredible. They come and hit you HARD and then the pain disappears instantly and the cycle continues for God knows how long, for me, the cycle continued for two days. I had them all day Sunday, but I was still able to do everything I wanted to do: clean, do laundry, spent the evening with my family and had dinner, cleaned some more. Kevin told me I was "nesting". I don't think so though, if you know me at all, you know that I am borderline OCD and I clean everything that comes to sight, so ehhh nesting, I am not too sure if it happened with me. It is Sunday night and I am attempting to go to sleep (you can't when you have contractions going on, plus I was feeling super uncomfortable as always trying to find a position good enough to sleep). It was around 1:10 a.m. when the most painful contraction that I had so far hit me and I had to get up and walk because I couldn't lay there anymore and once I stood up, my water broke. I didn't want to make a mess (OCD, you see!?), so I held my fluids in my hands and ran to the bathroom. I made it to the toilet and more fluids just came out of me. It really is like water, no smell to it, no color, just water or amniotic fluid as the doctors call it. Did it hurt? Not really. Unless it was the contraction that I felt, it was the most painful one I had so far, so if that was my water breaking, then yes. I called my doctor and he gave me the okay to go to the hospital. So, here we are, driving to the hospital and fluids just keep coming out of me and my contractions were getting closer together, about 7-8 minutes apart and getting more powerful as well. We get to the hospital, get admitted and placed in our room. Our nurse checks my cervix to see how much I was dilated and I was dilated a whole ONE. In my head at this time I was like, OH  MY GAWD I AM GOING TO BE HERE ALL WEEK THIS IS GOING TO TAKE FOREVERRR! I guess it doesn't matter how much you are dilated, if your water breaks, you are admitted to the hospital. Our nurse recommended us to walk it out because it typically helps, so we did. Kevin and I walked for about two hours around the labor and delivery department and once my nurse checked me again (around 4:30 a.m.) I was dilated a 5! OH GOOD GAWD, THANK YOU. At one point, I was literally speaking out loud to God, I typically keep my prayers private, but at this point, I didn't care who heard me. Anyway, so I was dilated a 5 and I forgot to mention that I was one of the lucky ones to experience back labor. Let me try to describe to you what back labor feels like... let's say there are about 10 butcher knives flying towards you, towards your back and they all stab you at once. It literally took my breath away. Kevin, being the good support partner that he was, kept saying "keep breathing, breath with me, you can do it" but I couldn't. It was like I forgot how to breath it was that painful. So back to my nurse, she started to tell me that now that I am a 5 I am allowed to have some drugs and she was about to ask me if I wanted drugs and I interrupted her immediately and said "give me the epidural". I think she and Kevin laughed at me, well laughed with me, because at that point, I was laughing too only because I didn't want to cry. I was nervous laughing with tears in my eyes. The anesthesiologist came about 30-40 minutes after, did his magic, and I was soooooo relaaaaaxed. I don't know what kind of drug is in an epidural, but it is pure magic. My back labor went away completely and so did most sensation on my lower body, but that was OKAY because I was feeling good. Once you get an epidural, you can only lay in bed, so I did. Our nurse came to check on me every two-three hours. I was dilated a 6 around 6 a.m. and then almost an 8 around 9 a.m. Unfortunately, the epidural, like all drugs, wear out, so I started to feel my back labor again, but only on the right side of my back, super weird feeling. I was still dilated an 8 around 10:30 a.m., so my nurse said that she'll check again around noon and hopefully we can begin to push by then. She checked me around 12:30 and HALLELUJAH I was dilated a 10! I was ready to push this baby out, so I did. I was pushing and pushing and Emma was "turtling" which means I would push just enough for her head to be seen and then she would go back inside of me. I guess this was happening for about an hour, then my IV machine starts beeping. Kevin takes a look at it and sees that I am almost all out of my epidural, so he asks our nurse if I can have another one. Our nurse sort of chuckles and says "it's too late for that, she will just have to keep pushing and if the pain comes back, that's okay". EXCUSE ME LADY, it will NOT be OKAY. At this point, I was determined to push Emma out as soon as possible because there was no way in heck that I was going to feel that back labor in full force again (at least not until our next child). I have no idea where this next wave of energy came from, but I was ready and this is another part where I spoke out loud to the Big Man. I pushed hard for probably 20 minutes and our Emma arrived at 2:59 p.m. on Monday, September 26th. I was crying for two reasons: the first reason is the most obvious one, we have our daughter with us, I was holding her and looking directly at her and she was perfectly healthy and secondly I was no longer at an uncomfortable position where it felt like I was pushing out a big poop. Pushing out a baby has to be the most uncomfortable sensation ever. I didn't feel any pain during this time because thank GOD the epidural was still in effect, but man, super duper uncomfortable. I look towards the doctor and he tells me to keep pushing because the placenta has to come out. Pushing out the placenta is not half as bad as pushing out a baby, but when that placenta does come out, so does a whole waterfall of fluids and lots and lots of blood. 

So, there it is. Emma's birth story and as crazy as it sounds, I would do it all over again. My husband was the best support partner. He was right by my side throughout the whole time, holding my hand or messaging my back, pushing me and motivating me to keep going. Thank you, mi amor. Thank you to my family who came to the hospital the moment I called to let them know that my water broke. I'm sure their prayers and just by them being there helped me mentally. By the way, I asked my little sister last minute if she could take Emma's birth pictures and she did and she did so well in the room with me. She was quiet, a little too quiet where I thought she fainted at one point, but she didn't. She has one strong stomach to have seen all that she saw, and the pictures turned out great, so thank you baby sister. I'll share a couple of the pictures below. Lastly, I want to express my gratitude to the nursing staff at Doctor's Medical Center. They were all fantastic and they made us feel so at ease the whole time. Also, thank you to our families and friends. The ones who visited us (either at the hospital or at our home), the phone calls, the cards, the posts on our social media, the FOOD, seriously, thank you to those who have fed us, we appreciate it so much! It's been two weeks and we are still filled with so much joy. I have been waiting a long time for this moment, and I know I was born to be a mother. I love being a mother. I love every moment of it. 

Here are a couple of pictures from the second best day of my life (Our wedding day is the first, of course): 

Thank you God for our biggest blessing yet.

Good night, world. 

With love,

Ale

Baby Entry #4

How far along: 38 weeks and 4 days

Total weight gain: 30 pounds

Maternity clothes: I purchased a couple shirts since I feel like I'm wearing the same thing everyday. 

Stretch marks: Only the same ones on my left hip/upper leg and they've grown, but it's not as bad and I can always hide them.  

Sleeping schedule: I haven't had a full nights sleep since I entered my last trimester. This is a good thing though. I feel like I'm ready for those sleepless nights that are coming. Kevin, on the other hand, has a rude awakening. Haha. 

Best moment of this week:  Feeling my belly. She's so big and I can almost feel her little toes and legs since she keeps moving so much. I can't wait to have her in my arms. 

Miss anything: My unswollen hands and feet.

Movement: During my last doctor visit, I found out that she is positioned head first which means her legs are somewhere way above my bellybutton and she really loves to stretch her legs, especially when I'm driving. 

Food cravings: Cheesecake and boy, was it delicious. 

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope.

Gender/Name: Emma Sofia Morris

Labor signs: Yes, but they are irregular. I get them a lot during the later afternoons and I make my students really nervous when I do get them during school hours. I love how concerned they are of me. 

Belly button in or out: In

Wedding rings on or off: Off. I miss wearing my band. 

Happy or moody: Definitely happy and very impatient. 

Looking forward to: The whole child birth experience in its entirety leading to holding our daughter in my arms and seeing her for the first time. Yes, my fears are still there, but I'm also very curious about the whole process. Kevin has been wonderful since the beginning, making me laugh to ease my anxiety or giving me back massages to calm those sciatic nerve pain. I am the luckiest woman to have him by my side throughout our pregnancy journey. I've been telling myself ALOT lately about how our bodies are meant to do this and how the pain is only temporary, plus our greatest gift of all will be handed to us at the end and when I think about that...my fears go away. I've really been blessed with a smooth pregnancy, can't complain about anything. We recently had our maternity session with Marilyn Diaz, if you haven't booked her, you should! She is so talented. Here are some of my favorites from the session. 

10 days (more or less) left. A friend of mine sent me the following verse, thank you, you know who you are. 

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Phil 4:13"

With love,

Ale

Baby Entry #3

How far along: 30 weeks

Total weight gain: 25 pounds

Maternity clothes: I purchased some stretchy yoga pants a couple weeks ago and they have been heaven for me. Pretty sure those are the pants I want to be wearing when I'm in labor.

Stretch marks: Yes, a couple small ones on my left hip and they look like lightning bolts (at least they look cool). 

Sleeping schedule: For the past couple months, my body is now used to getting up and using the bathroom once a night, it's quite robotic and sometimes I don't even open my eyes. In addition, I stopped drinking water by 9pm and it seems to help reduce the number of times I have to use the restroom. 

Best moment of this week:  Everyday I go in her (almost ready) room and I just sit there and imagine myself with Emma in my arms, then I hold my belly and talk to her about all the ideas I have planned to do as a family together and how excited everyone is to meet her. 

Miss anything: Wine and a nice cold one when its 110 degrees outside :(

Movement: Emma (that's her name by the way... Emma Sofia) moves SO much and she's not graceful about it either. She is so active all the time.

Food cravings: Nope.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope.

Have you started to show yet: Most definitely. She's got 10 more weeks to go! 

Gender/Name: If you don't already know, we're having a girl and her name is Emma Sofia Morris. Kevin and I had our girl name picked out for years now and yes... we got the first name idea from one of our favorite shows Friends and the middle name has been passed down for generations on my side of the family (I'm a Sofia myself) and we decided to keep the tradition alive. 

Labor signs: Not yet, at least I don't think so.

Belly button in or out: In

Wedding rings on or off: On, but it is starting to get a little tight :(

Happy or moody: I'm all over the place. I definitely noticed that I am a lot more sensitive as of recently. I'm crying more, laughing more, and getting mad quicker. These hormones are just too much sometimes, but my joy, anxiety, and happiness of being a mother and awaiting her arrival is always there. 

Looking forward to: these last 10 weeks with Emma in the womb. I have so much to look forward to such as: baby showers, birth classes, a maternity photography session, a mini trip scheduled for my husband and I before baby's arrival, and of course the day she's finally here. I'm terrified of child birth, but I'm starting to feel more and more pumped every week because I just want to see my daughter, hold her, and smother her with kisses. 

I quickly want to say how fortunate Kevin and I are to have the support system we have. So many have been calling us, visiting us, texting us and have been so supportive and caring throughout my pregnancy. Our loved ones can't express to us enough on how excited they are for Emma to be here, especially the soon-to-be grandpa's. My dad can't get enough of my belly and my father-in-law lights up every time he visits. They and everyone else who has expressed their excitement with us are counting the days or I mean seconds for October 4th. Thank you for that, thank you for being as excited as we are. This is by far our greatest happiness and our greatest adventure and experiencing it with our loved ones only made this journey 100 times better. We love you. Emma is such a lucky little girl to have all of you. 

I plan to post one more entry before she gets here, but we'll see how it goes. I'm off to bed and Emma decided to have a dance party just now, I guess I won't be finding a comfortable sleeping position for hours...oh joy.

Here is a current picture of me at 29 weeks. 

Spread kindness and rest well, world. 

With love,

Ale

Baby Entry #2

How far along: 22 weeks.

Total weight gain: 16 pounds.

Maternity clothes: I purchased some pants and capris from Old Navy and a girlfriend of mine is letting me borrow most of her maternity jeans and a couple of tops. I'm currently looking for some maternity dresses, but I haven't found any that I really like yet. 

Stretch marks: Nope, but I have purchased the lotion that was recommended to me by my doctor. Prevention is key and I hope it works! 

Sleep: My sleeping schedule has improved. I still have to wake up once a night to empty my bladder. Another thing I've noticed is that I am getting much hotter much quicker. Poor Kevin, I have to push him to his side whenever he tries to hold me at night. It's only temporary, mi amor! Also, Kevin bought me one of those pregnancy pillows and they are heaven!

Best moment of this week:  This morning, Kevin and I had our monthly OB appointment with our Doctor. The doctor was checking the baby's heartbeat by putting a little bit of pressure right on my belly and baby girl punched my stomach right where the baby monitor was! I love how she's already developing her personality right in the womb. 

Miss anything: Coffee, Mountain Dew, and wine.

Movement: Nothing yet.

Food cravings: Nope, nada. 

Anything making you queasy or sick: Whenever I take out the trash. I instantly get super nauseous.

Have you started to show yet: I am definitely starting to show. Baby girl is growing healthy and strong.

Gender: "I honestly don't know. At first, I was boy 100%, but now I'm starting to think maybe girl." This is what I said on my last post and the vibes I got were right! We're having a baby girl!!!

Labor signs: Nope.

Belly button in or out: In

Wedding rings on or off: On

Happy or moody: My road rage has become worse. My patience for idiots on the road is slim, but other than that, I'm so incredibly happy. I am counting the days where we have our baby girl in our arms. 

Looking forward to: My summer vacation has started and Kevin and I can finally work on the baby's room!

I am loving every moment of my pregnancy with Baby Girl Morris. On the next post, we will be sharing her name! Until then, be safe and spread kindness.

With love,

Ale

Baby Morris Entry #1

Hi Everyone, 

I have some incredible news to share with you. My husband and I are expecting our first child! We are nervous, excited, blessed, scared, happy. As you can already notice, we are feeling tons of emotions, but happiness is the one we're feeling by far. God is good. I've decided to complete questionnaires such as the one below every now and then throughout the course of my pregnancy just for the fun of it. 

How far along: 15 weeks

Total weight gain: About 6-7 pounds

Maternity clothes: I already bought pants and jeans from the maternity section at Old Navy (online selection is much better compared to the store).

Stretch marks: Nope. That reminds me...I need to purchase some lotion to prepare for them. I know they're coming...

Sleep: About 3 weeks ago, I would have crazy dreams/nightmares every night and then I would stay awake from the anxiety afterwards. Thank goodness that went away, but I get up at least once every night to empty my bladder. 

Best moment of this week: Kevin and I read weekly updates from The Bump and this week we learned that the baby is starting to hear us. Kevin started talking to our baby and said, "Hi Baby, don't drive your Mama crazy." I love seeing this side of my husband. 

Miss anything: Strong coffee.

Movement: Nothing yet.

Food cravings: Sour gummy worms 

Anything making you queasy or sick: the trash

Have you started to show yet: I just feel lumpy right now and I feel and look like I'm bloated most of the time. At least, I don't think I'm showing a pregnant belly yet. 

Gender: I honestly don't know. At first, I was boy 100%, but now I'm starting to think maybe girl. 

Labor signs: No where near that.

Belly button in or out: In

Wedding rings on or off: On

Happy or moody most of the time: So incredibly happy. I find myself smiling at the thought of our baby (I can be anywhere, last time I caught myself I was at Save Mart) and how he/she will look like. I hope he/she has their daddy's eyes.

Looking forward to: Having some quality time with family this weekend. My parents and siblings are so excited for their grandchild/niece/nephew. We're already thinking about baby shower ideas and games. 

I've wanted this for so long, I cannot wait to have you in my arms, Baby of mine.

Goodnight world.

With love,

Ale

Rest in Peace, my Bambi boy

I was 12 years old with $50 in my hands walking towards an apartment in downtown Merced. Prior to this visit, my mom and I found a newspaper ad saying the following, 'Cocker Spaniel Puppies for Sale!' and I saved up all the money I had and prayed on the drive there that the owner accepts my offer. I knock on the door and this lady who was probably 30, but looked like she was 50 opened the door and I remember her apartment being so smoky inside. I stayed outside because well...stranger danger. I asked her, "are you selling Cocker Spaniel puppies? I only have $50, will this do?" She looked me and then she grabbed the money off of my hands, handed me a puppy (roughly, my poor Bambi), and slammed the door. I was so overwhelmed with happiness that I didn't even care that she didn't let me pick. I just knew from the start that he was the one. On the car ride home, my family and I are shouting random names and I believe it was my sister or maybe brother that said 'Bambi' and it stuck. Of course, my poor Bambi was always called a 'her' for his entire life. I wonder what his thoughts were when his name was chosen for him, I'm surprised he didn't hate me for it. Since that day, our journey together has been full of love and laughter. His ears were so floppy that he would have trouble eating as a pup because he would accidently start chewing on one of his ears, but I was always there to help until the very end. He was my shadow, always beside me. Our other furbabies have learned from him and they do the same. They also learned from him to scare cats, with the exception of Dexter. Bambi loved Dexter, probably the only cat that was worthy of his affection (his thought not mine, I'm sure of it). They learned to beg for food, unfortunately and they learned what it meant to be loyal and caring. I'm so happy that I still have Lucky and Koopa because it feels like I still have Bambi with me. He was incredible and I'm going to miss him so much. I'm going to miss those ears and my shadow. Knowing that he is in doggy heaven, most likely with Sugar (my first furbaby) and back in full health with his tennis ball in his mouth makes my heart feel full. I hope he left this world knowing how much he was loved and how great of a companion he will always be. I love you Bambi. I'll see you at the Rainbow Bridge. 

With love,

Ale

Shucks

There goes another month and I just started thinking today "it's been a while since I posted something on my blog", I really have to be a little more consistent about this. I'll add it to my list. 

February and March are flying by, just like January. Dude, year 2016, slow down just a little. A couple of important events since my last post...

Little sister aka bigger sister in height turned sweet 16 on February 13th. We had her pick where she wanted to spend the day and she chose San Francisco. Beautiful day to have visited. We went to the Japanese Gardens for the first time and it was lovely. Next time, I want to rent a bike and just take a bike ride around that whole park. Of course, she connected to her roots and wanted Peruvian food for lunch and in the Bay, you have choices to choose from for Peruvian restaurants. It was delicious. Two more years until my little one is legal. Time, slow down. Please. 

Another important event, my BambiBoy turned 15 years old, he made it to another year and let me tell you, he inhaled his birthday ice cream he had on his birthday. His health recently has been a rollarcoaster. He has his good days and then he has his bad days where I'm crying myself to sleep because I fear he won't wake up the next day. I am grateful to God though because I believe He is giving me this extra time to accept that he will be leaving us soon. How many devoted pet owners really get the chance to do this, to say goodbye? My first dog/companion Sugar, a dog who was with me for over 10 years, left me so unexpectedly, and how I wish I had a little more time to spend with her and mentally prepare myself for her departure from this Earth and that is exactly what I am doing with Bambi. I pray he goes in peace when he's ready and for God to continue to give me strength and be able to let go.

I don't mean to end on a sad note, but it helps me. It's a form of therapy for me. I'd love to hear your story and what made your bond so special with your dog/cat. They really are more than just a pet, they are a part of you. There's not a whole lot of people who truly understand that, but I do. 

Before I say good night, here are a couple of pictures of the Birthday Girl and Boy on their birthdays. 

Sweet dreams.

With love,

Ale

Slow down, year!

January went flying. I need 2016 to calm down.

Let me update ya on a couple things...one thing I'm doing differently this year is not bringing work home with me. I tried doing that last year, but I failed. This year, so far, I've been doing good and I feel less stressed and well rested going to work the next day. Kevin and I have been cooking more home made meals, it's been lighter on our wallets, healthier for our bodies, and we treat it as a date. We're both pretty good cooks.

Another update: our fur babies are doing all right. My oldest is going through some health complications, but then again, he is 14 years old. I'm just making sure that he has the best quality of life. I love my old man, and I pray God will take him when it's time, I hope it's peaceful. 

We celebrate my little sisters 16 birthday this coming up weekend. She's growing up to be such a young lady. I'm so proud of her accomplishments with school and I love hearing her talk about her future plans, she's so ambitious. These next two years have to slow down. I plan on spending as much time with her as I can before she goes off to college. Is it me or does life feel like it's on high speed when you're an adult. I don't remember feeling this way when I was in middle school or even high school. 

Well that's what's going on with me. I hope 2016 started well for all of you. I'll try not to wait a month to post again.

Good night world. 

With love,

Ale